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Old May 13th, 2011   #1
SmokyMtn
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Default Brazilian Woman Wins Right To Masturbate At Work

I wonder how many niggers will start using this defense?

Brazilian Woman Wins Right To Masturbate At Work



Ana Catarian Bezerra is a 36-year-old Brazilian woman who suffers from a chemical imbalance that triggers severe anxiety and hypersexuality. Ana, an accountant by day, began to have problems at work because the only way to relieve said anxiety is by masturbating. A lot. Now, after winning a court battle and seeking professional medical help, Ana is allowed to masturbate and watch porn — using her work's computer, no less — legally.

Ana wasn't always like this, she was worse:

"I got so bad I would to masturbate up to forty seven-times a day. That's when I asked for help, I knew it wasn't normal."

Carlos Howert, Ana's doctor, prescribes Ana with a "cocktail" (read: an entire medicine cabinet's worth) of tranquillizers. We're not sure how that "cocktail" doesn't knock Ana out (half a Claritin feels like an elephant tranquillizer to us), but thanks to Dr. Howert's concoction, Ana only has to masturbate around eighteen-times a day.

So, like, a little less than Elvis Crespo.

Of course all of this sounds absurd and hilarious to most us but for Ana it's probably anything but. Last April she had to take her employer to court in order to be allowed to masturbate during work hours. Ana won.

Still, imagine an office full of of scandalized and perverted stares as you exit the bathroom or bend down to pick up a pencil — awkward? Very. Also, as a woman, having a bunch of men knowing you're a clinical nympho probably doesn't help deter unwanted sexual advances.
 
Old May 13th, 2011   #2
John in Woodbridge
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She might need to borrow Bin Ladin's porn collection
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Old May 14th, 2011   #3
Chad Wentworth
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Now that's better than freedom of speech.
 
Old May 14th, 2011   #4
J. Kerr
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Default Giver Ana!

Here Ana, this is a picture of me in my prime.

Giver!

 
Old May 14th, 2011   #5
fossilator
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It gives Chiquita's Banana a whole new meaning.
 
Old May 14th, 2011   #6
H.B.
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This is why Third World cultures are forever doomed to squalor and mediocrity.
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Old May 14th, 2011   #7
N.B. Forrest
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I wouldn't touch her keyboard.
 
Old May 14th, 2011   #8
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Must make birthday parties awkward.
 
Old May 14th, 2011   #9
Lagergeld
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SmokyMtn View Post
"I got so bad I would to masturbate up to forty seven-times a day. That's when I asked for help, I knew it wasn't normal."
What in the HELL?
 
Old May 14th, 2011   #10
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46 times a day didn't bother her, though.
 
Old May 14th, 2011   #11
SA Mann
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I used to work with a bunch of real jackoffs! Bet her office smells like a fish market.
 
Old May 14th, 2011   #12
America First
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We cannot allow the natural passions and prejudices of other peoples
to lead our country to destruction.

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http://www.fff.org/freedom/0495c.asp
 
Old May 15th, 2011   #13
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Slippery spics!
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Old May 15th, 2011   #14
Soldatul Vostru
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Quote:
Still, imagine an office full of of scandalized and perverted stares as you exit the bathroom or bend down to pick up a pencil — awkward? Very. Also, as a woman, having a bunch of men knowing you're a clinical nympho probably doesn't help deter unwanted sexual advances.
"unwanted sexual advances"? Wouldn't said advances be very much wanted, considering...? Maybe the men are just trying to help. Here they are attempting to do this selfless deed and they still get attacked for it.
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Old May 15th, 2011   #15
Dale VanderMeer
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I wonder how many nogs are eager to "tap 'dat"?

Nogs will nail anything, including greasy mantecas.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SmokyMtn View Post
I wonder how many niggers will start using this defense?

Brazilian Woman Wins Right To Masturbate At Work
 
Old May 15th, 2011   #16
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Ana Catarian Bezerra is a 36-year-old Brazilian woman who suffers from a chemical imbalance that triggers severe anxiety and hypersexuality

Just what kind of chemicals are these?

I didn't know Brazil had a bunch of sue happy jew lawyers in it too.
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"Remember my children, that all the Earth must belong to us, Jews, and that the Gentiles being mere excrements of animals, must possess nothing".
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Old May 15th, 2011   #17
Bassanio
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Quote:
Ana Catarian Bezerra is a 36-year-old Brazilian woman who suffers from a chemical imbalance that triggers severe anxiety and hypersexuality

Just what kind of chemicals are these?

I didn't know Brazil had a bunch of sue happy jew lawyers in it too.
"Chemical imbalance". Right up there with "race is a social construct".
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Old May 15th, 2011   #18
Mike in Denver
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Let's see. She used to whack-off 47 times a day...now, only 18.

Doesn't VNF have a thread on masturbation? She should be invited to participate. Word of a real expert.

Mike

Hmmm... If she were awake 16 hours a day, at 47 times a day, that would be rubbing one out just about every twenty minutes all the waking day.
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You have to remember I live in Denver and some things are perfectly legal here that aren't where you live.
 
Old May 15th, 2011   #19
Leonard Rouse
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You gotta Fight! For your Right! To MASTURBATE!!!



 
Old May 15th, 2011   #20
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I see something in need of a battered clit shelter.

.
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