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June 20th, 2010 | #1 | |
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20 year age difference in marriage best?
Found this article on African Crisis
Quote:
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December 23rd, 2010 | #2 |
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My husband is 15 years older than me.
We married when I was approx 25 and he was 40. The article does make sense in some ways but there are also a lot of variables, trials and tribulations, due to the age gap that are not addressed. Many people will scream vehemently that age doesn't matter and they personally have no issues with the age difference. If this is true for them, congratulations. I suspect, however, that sometimes there are quite a bit of denial or other issues at play. I believe it does to a certain extent have much to do with the individuals but for me as the younger partner, I find myself in situations I would never be in had I married someone not quite so distance in age. For example being mistaken for his daughter. Often. Being at different stages of life growth and life experience can be huge as well as health. Ideally, I would say that a 10 year gap would be best as it seems to be those extra 5 years that really stir up trouble. This is all my own opinion and experiences of course. Best Wishes, Lily |
December 23rd, 2010 | #3 |
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"[W]omen age so much more quickly than men, that a marked disparity of age at marriage, even if it amounts to fifteen years, is much more normal than the majority of people, in England at least, suppose."
"It is extraordinary that the nubile Anglo-Saxon girl will not see this, more particularly as her unwillingness to do so is purely intellectual and acquired from the false values that surround her. This is more especially so in the working classes, where an absurd superstition — it cannot be given a more dignified name — against any disparity of more than two or three years, has somehow acquired so strong a hold upon the female, that a man even ten years a girl's senior is classed as 'too old'. If only people understood how much more easily happiness and fidelity are secured for both parties to a match by a minimum of ten years' seniority in the man, the perplexity now prevailing in regard to the increasing domestic disharmony in Anglo-Saxon countries would be dispelled, and a wiser practice would be adopted" (Anthony M. Ludovici). |
December 23rd, 2010 | #4 |
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Thats probably true..
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December 24th, 2010 | #5 |
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I would have to agree, men DO become more attractive with age, especially as they reach their 40's.
I would cite the Norwegian explorer Thor Heyerdahl as an example of a male who remained "attractive" until the end of his days. |
December 24th, 2010 | #6 |
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I remember watching the Spike Lee joint, Buncombe X, when 'dat priddy nigger', Denzel, states the the Koran says that a man should choose a wife who is half his age plus 7 years. I thought, that's actually not bad advice.
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December 24th, 2010 | #7 |
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I certainly don't disagree with anything said, especially the part about men becoming more attractive with age.
I also failed to include that the issues that arise can easily be overcome with love, understanding and communication along with occasionally having to put one's foot down. (His, not mine, lol.) As a young woman, I had to hit some brick walls to outgrow some nuances for sure that a much younger man would likely not have been able to break due to lack of life experience or being solid in where he is and where he stands. I have had moments of sheer frustration, down right brattiness to be honest, testing the waters. Shame on me, I know. I wouldn't trade him for the world but I think what bothers me in the end is that I fear losing him and becoming a widow earlier than most. I understand that none of us are gonna make it out of here alive and any of us can go at any time and if SHTF.... I am woman though and emotional. Think too much too. |
December 24th, 2010 | #8 | ||
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Quote:
A 22 years old M would then take a 18yo W. A 30 years old M would then take a 22yo W. A 40 years old M would then take a 27yo W. A 50 years old M would then take a 32yo W. A 60 years old M would then take a 37yo W. You are right, yet no reason to convert. Quote:
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December 24th, 2010 | #9 | |
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Quote:
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December 25th, 2010 | #10 |
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I always thought the "1/2 plus 7" rule was good to use. So I would date someone who is 18+; that sounds right to me. Well actually I can't go legally lower than that. (AOC is 16 where I live.)
I can attest to looking better as you get older. I think I look a lot better than I did when I was 17, since my beard has developed (a lot more) and my jaw is noticeably squarer, not to mention the lines on my face give me a more "defined" look; I can easily see why women would be attracted to someone older especially when you take personality into account. |
December 27th, 2010 | #11 |
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I have been friends with a guy who is nearly 20 years older than me for a long time (late teen years). I have known forever that he likes me as much more than a friend and I have tried to date him and see how things go. We always have a lot of fun together and despite the age difference we have a lot in common, even politically. The age thing though is something I have never been able to get past. He is only a few years younger than my dad and that seems extremely odd and a little disturbing to me. I do also like guys who are a little older than me but within reason (5-10 years). And this only happened when I turned about 25, before that I wanted a male who was no more than a few years older than me.
Two people from two different generations just does not seem like something that is going to work out too well. Slightly older male/younger woman is fine, maybe even a positive. Much older male/younger woman. Fail. Last edited by The Barrenness; December 27th, 2010 at 04:06 PM. |
May 3rd, 2011 | #12 |
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No, most relationships work best when the two involved are close in age, and thus, close in interests, history, experiences, etc. It's always been this way and always will be.
Old men and young women is just another silly male fantasy. It's no more natural for old men to be with young women than it is for older women to be with young men. It might be fun or interesting in the short term, but sooner than later, the differences will become obvious and things will become strained. I've seen it happen plenty of times. Now, there are certainly rare exceptions, but what I am saying generally holds true across the board. And isn't it funny that most of the examples of old men and young women are rich old men and rather shallow, materialistic young women who seem to enjoy the lavish lifestyle bestowed upon them by their old fart? Fantasize all you want to fellas, but after sex, when the sweet young thang starts to talk like a nigger, act like a nigger, wants to listen to nigger noise, tell me where the attraction is then? One of the joys of meeting and talking with a male who is near my age nowadays is how we have so much in common about how things used to be, before this country was fucked up. How in the world could I have this conversation with some young stud who doesn't know anything before about 1985 or so? But then, a lot of people live very shallow lives with little or no real meaning. |
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