Hello, I'm a pretty good maintenance man. I've been able to fix everything I have ever set out to do. (Yes, I know, but I speak a fact. It's really just a matter of being methodical and patient; not bragging.)
Anyway, it is almost impossible to diagnose, much less fix, a problem by not having a hands on look-see. Nevertheless, we can probably do this providing willingness to put in some tedious you-look-and-give-a-decent-description and me or someone responds in a step by step fashion.
First, you probably have a combination of problems. The hot water coming out of the cold side almost has to be a separate problem. A poster above was right when realizing that it doesn't happen by just being pressed out the cold input to the hot water heater. I have never heard of such a case. Pressure relief valve and other things. But heed this while we are on it: if your hot water heater (HWH) is energized and not completely full of water, IT WILL EXPLODE. I've seen it more than once. (Pressure valves are actually more for show unless nearly brand new in many regions that have hard water deposit troubles, which you must since you have a softener. They quickly seize up with deposits and won't work right. That is the reason why when you screw with one by lifting up that lever it is hard to get the damn thing to quit dripping or even flowing out the pipe that hangs off the valve on the side of the HWH. Sometimes they flat won't quit after you open one and you have to take it off and get a new one. Hard water deposits.) So if your heater is on and not completely full, you get steam build-up and free volume for it to pressurize to the explosion point. No, it won't kill you or anything like that, but it is a hell of a mess and problem, especially if it happens and you are not home or outside or something and don't know it. It can steam your entire house over and ruin damn near everything or at least in the basement or wherever the heater is before you know what's happened. So be aware of that anytime you turn off a main or valve into your HWH. Always cut off the power if you are not absolutely sure the tank is full of water. And of course the least that will happen is your heating elements will be shot if not emerged in water and the power is on.
What CAN and generally is the cause of hot water coming out the cold side is a bad faucet. Especially the single handle jobs. This could even cause the other problems you are having, the rumbling pipes, bad pressure and so forth. And yes, Murphy's law, it can even be multiple faucets failing at once. Had a guy once laughed and then swore that couldn't be the problem. Guess what? Four faucets were bad. As a matter of fact my faucet on the bathtub is screwed up right now and doing it. And it is one of those expensive ones. You turn it on and only hot water comes out, no matter which way you turn it (and I mean all the way on hot). Sometimes only cold water and you got to screw with it for a few minutes turning it off and then back on before it goes back to all hot. Sometimes the pipes will hum and rumble and the pressure is low. I haven't replaced it yet because I only take hot showers and the rumbling and pressure deal only happens every once in awhile. It was happening when I moved back here from when my sister lived here and had new faucets installed. I took it apart but it must have been bad from the factory; there is a piece missing or the ball is defective.
But what you first need to do is start right at the point where the main comes into your house from the well. That is what I would do first; since we don't know exactly what all the trouble is or where exactly it starts. You've got a problem with water pressure and supply too, according to the description of trouble you gave. It may well be that your pump down in the ground is not working right. ( I don't really think that is it but we don't know.) So what you have to do to find out is disconnect the main BEFORE it reaches the bladder. Then turn the pump on and see if it is working right. Hook up a hose or something so you don't spray water all over hell. But find out if you are getting the right volume of water from the well and also if it is STEADY. That is, let it run long enough to see that the pump is not kicking on and off or if it is loosing its prime or anything. (That's why you need to hook a hose or something up so you can do something with the water as it comes out. Run it to a drain or outside. It should have a lot of pressure on it.)
Doing the above check will tell you if your pump is good or shot. Hopefully it is all right and the problem is further up the line. Then, assum9ing the pmp is good and working right, your next step is to hook the main back up and next move to the bladder. Unhook the line coming OUT of the bladder. You will have to put a temporary shut off valve on the output of the bladder here if there is not already one. If there is, then disconnect the line past the valve. (Again, hook up a hose or something to be able to control and drain the water.) Turn the pump on. You want the bladder to fill up with water so you can see if it is working right. Open and shut the valve and drain water. Let it fill up again. Examine the bladder carefully and see if it is working right. And of course your pump should be shutting off when you have the valve turned off and the bladder can fill completely like it is supposed to. Check and make sure that is working right. You are getting the ideal. Check. Check. Check. Make sure it is all working so far. But I think here is ONE of your problems. It sounds like your bladder is probably bad. Find out. See exactly what is wrong and where it is loosing pressure and all that. You may be able to fix it but you may not and will have to get a new one.
After you get finished and either fix the trouble or discover it is working right after all ( I don't think this will be the case), move on down to the softener and start the process again. Do this anyway since I'm pretty sure you have additional problems beyond a bad bladder. You're working methodically to isolate and diagnose each part of the system. Divide and conquer, the same as anything else.
When you get to the softener, do the same thing and figure out what if anything is going on there. It may or may not be a problem there. It may be another reason or for some reason just part of the trouble before it that is causing your water to taste like salt. You just have to do the checks to find out.
Work with that method right on down the line and isolate, discover and fix the problems. And at the end I think you are going to have at least one faucet problem in the mix, too. But maybe not.
But the foregoing is all that you can do; all anyone will do, high dollar professional or not. You just have to check each part in its sequential order from beginning to end until you eliminate the problem(s). You can do it. And after you locate the troubles, plumbing is just a pain in the ass and for non-full time plumbers almost ALWAYS involves SEVERAL trips to the hardware store or supply place before you get all the right size fittings and parts you need. It's just the way it is since you don't know all the right sizes, names, pieces, etc., and have them on hand out in your truck or parts bin. Trial and error and trips to the store. Count on it. Plumbing uses multiple sizes and different fittings and washers. Pain in the ass. But you can do it. Just take your time and be as patient as you can (after cussing and throwing and probably tightening a fitting too tight and breaking it off, or tightening the nut too tight after replacing the packing in a valve and cracking it like I did a few weeks ago, lol).
But try that and get back to us and maybe I or someone can help you some more when you know more detail. Just do it yourself and save a lot of money. A plumber is pretty much going to do just what I outlined above. So can you. Good luck and hope it is not something too expensive.
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