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Old December 30th, 2008 #1
bmwbiker
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Default (#1 Jokes thread) Jokes, Humor - funny pictures...yust put it.

I see that here is needed one good thread to make my day batter

Lets go joking some here, put funny pics...whatever make you laugh.

Please, dont make this thread too much personal...

I asking Moderators to be here more...open minded...that here dont bann pepole if they wrote something stupid.



Finding a Chinese Jew



Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant. "Sid," asked Al, "are there any Jews in China?"

"I don't know," Sid replied. "Why don't we ask the waiter?"

When the waiter came by, Al asked him, "Are there any Chinese Jews?"

"I don't know sir, let me ask," the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen. He returned in a few minutes and said, "No, sir. No, Chinese Jews."

"Are you sure?" Al asked.

"I will check again, sir," the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen. While he was still gone, Sid said, "I cannot believe there are no Jews in China. Our people are scattered everywhere."

When the waiter returned he said, "Sir, no Chinese Jews."

"Are you really sure?" Al asked again.

"I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews."

"Sir, I ask everyone," the waiter replied exasperated. "We have Orange Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews and Grape Jews, but we have no Chinese Jews."





What do you call a white man in a group of twenty black men?
Tarzan of the apes

A man walks into a shoe store looking for a nice pair of shoes. An assistant asks if he can help, so the man tells the assistant he's looking for a really nice pair of shoes, a pair like nobody else would have. The assistant leads the man to the back room, opens a draw and pulls out a pair of shoes. He says,
"These are the most unique shoes, made from human skin! They're $10,000". The man looks at them and says they're a bit pricey, so the assistant says,
"We also have them in black for $2.99"





What does one fag say to another fag going on vacation?
Can I help you pack your shit?


What's the first symptom of AIDS?
A sharp, stabbing pain in your rectum.
 
Old December 30th, 2008 #2
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Haha, great stuff, some remind me of Russian jokes. I'll post something up if I remember anything particularly good.
 
Old December 30th, 2008 #3
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What's Hitlers least favorite planet?
'Jewpiter'

How many jews can you fit in a VW Beetle?
54, two in the front, two in the back, and fifty in the ashtray.


How do you know you have a queer Jew?
He likes money more than girls.



What happens when a Jew with an errection walks into a wall?
He breaks his nose.



What's the difference between a jew and Santa?
Santa goes down the chimney!



A cop asks a nigger:
- Can you legitimate yourself?
- Is this because I’m black?
 
Old December 30th, 2008 #4
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HOW TO START EACH DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK

1. Open a new file in your computer.
2. Name it "Robert Mugabe".
3. Send it to the Recycle Bin.
4. Empty the Recycle Bin.
5. Your PC will ask you. "Do you really want to get rid of "Robert Mugabe?"
6. Firmly Click "Yes."
7. Feel better?
Tomorrow we'll do Jacob Zuma

that one is from South Africa
 
Old December 30th, 2008 #5
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this one is goood:








 
Old December 30th, 2008 #6
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see this: Serbs versus niggers

 
Old December 31st, 2008 #7
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http://www.chimpout.com/forum/images...ssonobongo.gif


ha ha ha

Last edited by bmwbiker; December 31st, 2008 at 01:35 AM. Reason: bad url
 
Old December 31st, 2008 #8
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Old December 31st, 2008 #9
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What do you say to a black jew?

TO THE BACK OF THE OVEN
 
Old January 1st, 2009 #10
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i know now who is shiting my fire
 
Old January 1st, 2009 #11
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Old January 1st, 2009 #12
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Here's a few photochops from this thread over at Chimpout.com







 
Old January 2nd, 2009 #13
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A Bright Wizard and a Rune Master were seated next to a Warrior Priest at the Thirsty Dog. After a few ales, the men began discussing their home lives.

"Last night I made love to my wife four times," the Bright Wizzard bragged, "and this morning she made me delicious bread and she told me how much she adored me."

"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Rune Master responded, "and this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me she could never love another man."

When the Warrior Priest remained silent, the Bight Wizard smugly asked, "And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?"

"Once," he replied.

"Only once?" the Rune Master arrogantly snorted. "And what did she say to you this morning?"

"Don't stop."



Q:What is the difference between a boy and a girl?
A:The boy is eight times more likely to be convicted of murder
 
Old January 2nd, 2009 #14
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fact of life
 
Old January 2nd, 2009 #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Adolf Croata View Post


fact of life
bahahahahahaha thats horrible.
 
Old January 3rd, 2009 #16
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In South Africa a nigger was walking with a parrot on his shoulder and on his way he meets with a white guy.
- He is so cute! Does he speak? Asks the white guy.
- I don’t know I just bought him! Says the parrot.

In the metro an old lady apostrophizes a nigger who was sitting calm in a seat:
- In my country, the ladies stay on the sits, and young boys like you stay in their feet!
- In my country, Africa, the boys stay in the middle of the fire, and the ladies stay in the kettles, boiling.


A nigger was walking in the jungle when he saw a sexy woman that was fighting for her life with a giant snake. The Nigger quickly jumps and kills the snake. The woman says to him:
- You saved me! I am I magic fairy and I can grand you any wish.
- I would like you to make me white and put me between your legs.
Then, the fairy made him into cotton wall tampon...


- There is a 1000 niggers and one white guy, what is the white guy called?
- Warden.
 
Old January 3rd, 2009 #17
Mike Mazzone of Palatine
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ed in CT View Post
Here's a few photochops from this thread over at Chimpout.com


http://www.thephora.net/forum/showthread.php?t=44979
http://goldismoney.info/forums/showthread.php?p=1466209
 
Old January 4th, 2009 #18
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What did the gay fireman say on 9/11?
It's raining men! Hallelujah! It's raining men! AMEN!!!!
 
Old January 4th, 2009 #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Adolf Croata View Post
What did the gay fireman say on 9/11?
It's raining men! Hallelujah! It's raining men! AMEN!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ml4ZvNvXUVI
 
Old January 4th, 2009 #20
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the artist!!!
 
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