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Old January 21st, 2014 #1
N.B. Forrest
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Default Vanishing Idioms

Phrases I heard from parents & grandparents while growing up, but rarely hear anymore:

Tight as Dick's Hatband

Who Struck John

Like Grant Took Richmond

Cock & Bull Story

Not a tater where you're diggin'



Add yours.
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Old January 21st, 2014 #2
313Chris
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In a coon's age

Mighty white a 'ya
 
Old January 21st, 2014 #3
SUNOFSPARTA
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Safer than chitlins on a city folk's supper plate.
Hotter than a jug full of red ants.
If that don't put a clod in your shoe.
You couldn't burst a bird's egg with a balpene hammer.
This here [stew] will grow hair on your elbows.
[It's] hot enough to fry a horseshoe.
Tighter than the feathers on a prairie chicken's rump.
The onliest thing you get from stradlin' the fence is a sore backside.
I'll get after you like thunder after lightnin'.
How'd you like to be gatherin' eggs and find her in nest?
Fine as frogs hair.
Naked as a plucked prairie chicken.
Bleedin' like a stuck hog.
He ain't got the gumption to pound sand for a rat hole.
I thumped him 'till his ears rang like the liberty bell.
Crookeder than a dog's hind leg.
Hold `yer taters.
[He's] got more friends than a dog's got hairs on his back.
Sit there like a boll weevil on a corn cob.
[He] draws trouble like a summer melon draws flies.
[I] feel better than a barn rooster on a prime hoot.
Quiet as a mouse tip toeing.
Quiet as on cotton on cottontail.
I'll get onto you like ugly on an ape.
Hoppin' around like a flea on a hot skillet.
You look like a sunfish who flopped.
When you learn a thing a day you store up smart.
That don't hurt a particle.
If you don't call, then you don't see the hand.
I made a bigger mess than a sow's bed.
Ain't you startin' to itch before you git bit?
He can't see past the brim of his hat.
Pooch up like an old toad.
Rougher than a wagon load full of cobs.
No more chance than a grass hopper in a hen house.
Flatter than a snake though a ringer.
I loved that boy like a June morning.
Quieter than a gagged gopher.
Sincere as at a $5 funeral
 
Old January 21st, 2014 #4
N.B. Forrest
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Free, WHITE & 21

Too Dumb to Pour Piss out of a Boot with Instructions on the Heel
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"First: Do No Good." - The Hymiecratic Oath

"The man who does not exercise the first law of nature—that of self preservation — is not worthy of living and breathing the breath of life." - John Wesley Hardin
 
Old January 21st, 2014 #5
Roy
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Nanny pants - my grandma used to say that one, meaning a guy that does the housework.

the "Horn" meaning telephone, my h.s. teacher used to use that one as a joke

"mighty white of you"... a friend in h.s. used to say that one, but I don't hear it any more

colder than a witch's teat

hotter than a french whore
 
Old January 21st, 2014 #6
MikeTodd
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Cool off the top of my head...

...
fucked up as a three car nigger funeral.

quiet as a mouse pissing on cotton.

good lord willin' and the creek don't rise.

drunker'n Cooter Brown.

happier than a faggot in a dick tree.

couldn't find his/her ass w/ both hands and a flash light.

harder than Chinese arithmetic.
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Old January 21st, 2014 #7
N.B. Forrest
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Quote:
good lord willin' and the creek don't rise.
Oh yeah. My father used to say:

"If the Lord lets me live..."


He didn't.

The Blower (telephone)

Too Dumb to Wipe his Ass
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"The man who does not exercise the first law of nature—that of self preservation — is not worthy of living and breathing the breath of life." - John Wesley Hardin
 
Old January 21st, 2014 #8
keifer
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Too Dumb to Pour Piss out of a Boot with Instructions on the Heel[/QUOTE]
Forgot about that one. A true classic.
 
Old January 21st, 2014 #9
N.B. Forrest
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Quote:
Originally Posted by keifer View Post
Too Dumb to Pour Piss out of a Boot with Instructions on the Heel
Forgot about that one. A true classic.[/QUOTE]

LBJ had one about Jerry Ford:

"Ford's too dumb to chew gum & fart at the same time...."
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"The man who does not exercise the first law of nature—that of self preservation — is not worthy of living and breathing the breath of life." - John Wesley Hardin
 
Old January 26th, 2014 #10
keifer
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Quote:
Originally Posted by N.B. Forrest View Post
Free, WHITE & 21

Too Dumb to Pour Piss out of a Boot with Instructions on the Heel
The technical difficulties might be the result of piss being in one boot and the directions written on the heel of the other.
 
Old January 27th, 2014 #11
N.B. Forrest
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You Thought Like Parker Dreamed: A needling riposte to someone who has the wrong idea about something.
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"First: Do No Good." - The Hymiecratic Oath

"The man who does not exercise the first law of nature—that of self preservation — is not worthy of living and breathing the breath of life." - John Wesley Hardin
 
Old April 24th, 2014 #12
Hunter Morrow
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Things that used to describe things that would now be called "hot" or "cool" now. I've kind of noticed that the idea of cats as "cool" is going away in our idomatic speech.

I always liked cat idioms. My father would always say phrases like "purring like a kitten" for a piece of machinery that worked particularly well.
 
Old January 21st, 2014 #13
Squarehead Chris
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"As nervous as a nigger at election time".

From my Mother who was born and raised in West Virginia.
 
Old January 22nd, 2014 #14
Martin Barlow
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"Kids about as sharp as a bowling ball"
 
Old January 22nd, 2014 #15
N.B. Forrest
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Squarehead Chris View Post
"As nervous as a nigger at election time".

From my Mother who was born and raised in West Virginia.
My family had a variant:

"Sweatin' like a nigger on Election Day"
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"The man who does not exercise the first law of nature—that of self preservation — is not worthy of living and breathing the breath of life." - John Wesley Hardin
 
Old January 22nd, 2014 #16
Nate Richards
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I lived with this girl a couple years, we went to visit her grandma in northern Arkansas and granny was describing a situation where she and grandpa had gone camping and the young couple in the nearest tent were keeping them awake with their noise. You probably see what's coming here anyway she says she went over there to talk peacefully and "sure enough they was a he-n' and a she-n' in there!!!" lol

Quote:
"mighty white of you"...
Yeah I miss that one, a lot of my school friends said that. Sometimes intended as a joke but it always just felt good.

Quote:
Too Dumb to Pour Piss out of a Boot with Instructions on the Heel
Forgot about that one. A true classic. [/QUOTE]that was one of my Grandpa's favorites.

Not sure if this is an "idiom", exactly, but my grandmother stopped speaking to one of her cousins for 30(?) years, I believe the story went, because of a comment made at a family get-together just after my dad was born. Grandma was showing him off to everyone and this girl cousin says "well, you could flush him down the toilet if his ears weren't so big" heheh she wasn't married yet, probably upset about grandma's publicity.
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Old January 22nd, 2014 #17
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Dumb as a day-old nigger.
 
Old January 24th, 2014 #18
MikeTodd
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Cold enough to freeze the balls off of a brass monkey.
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