|
February 4th, 2009 | #121 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,808
|
|
February 4th, 2009 | #123 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,396
|
What's the difference between a nigger and a pizza?
A pizza can feed a family of four. |
February 4th, 2009 | #124 |
......................... .
|
__________________
Tomislav (Tom) Sunic is a Croatian author, former diplomat, and political theorist of the New Right. In name of Christ.......fight against communist |
February 4th, 2009 | #125 |
Banned
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Squaresville
Posts: 7,502
|
|
February 4th, 2009 | #127 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,808
|
WHY WOMEN STAY SINGLE
|
February 4th, 2009 | #128 |
Banned
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 1,525
|
English will be provided in brackets.
Piet pulls up at the local Petrol Station where an attendant hops to it to serve him: Piet: Goeie mτre. Maak vol met Super, asseblief. (Good morning, fill it up with Super please) Attendant: How Much? Piet: Vol asseblief. (Fill it up please) Att: I only speak English Sir. Piet: Noooooo problem! Good day to you Sir. I currently feel a profound desire to replenish the propellant of my motorized vehicle. Therefore, I cordially request that you transfer from your subterranean reservoir, a sufficient quantity of combustible fluid of the highest octane rating to fill the appropriate receptacle of the said means of perambulation to the brim. Att: Huh???? Piet: Do you have a problem Sir? I thought you said you spoke English?? Att: English!.....that? She is not the English! Piet: My dear Sir, are you veritably attempting to insinuate that you do not even recognise the language which you allege to be your singular means of communication? Att: Huh? Piet: Let me attempt to elucidate in the most elementary terms: Your paltry grasp of the English vernacular is fritting away the time at my disposal. Or, as I would put it in a more civilised, intelligible language................... Dis f......en duidelik dat jy fo.....l van Engels weet. So, kry jou slapgat in rat en maak hierdie blik......se kar se tenk vol voordat ek hier uitklim en jou m..r, want jy mors my do..erse tyd!!!!!!! Verstaan jy Nou? (It's f*cking clear that you know f*ckall about English. So, get your sloppy ass in gear and fill this gdamn car's tank, before I get out and beat the shit out of you, because you're wasting my f*cking time. Do you understand now?) Att: Ja Meneer. Vol Meneer. Afrikaans is beter Meneer. (Yes Sir. Fill it up Sir. Afrikaans is better Sir) Last edited by Karl Von Clausewitz!; February 4th, 2009 at 05:47 PM. |
February 4th, 2009 | #129 |
I Come in Peace....
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Monrovia
Posts: 345
|
Progress...
|
February 5th, 2009 | #130 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Beograd
Posts: 3,186
|
SEOUL (AFP)
A dogged South Korean grandmother has failed her driving test 771 times, police said Thursday, but a local newspaper reported she will keep trying. The 68-year-old, identified only by her last name Cha, has taken the test almost every working day since 2005 in the southwestern city of Jeonju. She failed again Monday for the 771st time. "It was a record-breaking number here," Choi Yong-Cheol, a police sergeant supervising the test in the city's Deokjingu district, told AFP. "I wonder if she will try it again for a 772nd time." The Korea Times said Cha will in fact be back for another attempt. Choi said that Cha cannot pass the preliminary written section of the test, averaging scores of 30-50 whereas the pass mark is 60 out of 100. Local media said that Cha sells food and household items door to door at apartment complexes, carrying the items in a handcart, but wants to get a car for her business. Police estimate she has spent almost five million won (3,600 dollars) to take the written test, with each test costing 6,000 won in addition to other expenses.
__________________
"To survive a war, you gotta become war." Rambo, John J. |
February 5th, 2009 | #131 |
......................... .
|
perfectionist....
__________________
Tomislav (Tom) Sunic is a Croatian author, former diplomat, and political theorist of the New Right. In name of Christ.......fight against communist |
February 5th, 2009 | #132 |
......................... .
|
NELSON MANDELA VIRUS
Stays locked away in some unused region of your pc for 27 years and then takes it over completely. WINNIE MANDELA VIRUS Extinguishes all data like a stompie. APARTHEID VIRUS Separates PowerPoint slides based on colour. The nice thing about this virus is that anything that goes wrong with your computer can be blamed on this virus. AFFIRMATIVE ACTION VIRUS A second rate virus that takes the place of a really good programme that was on your PC. In some cases the really good programme still hangs around and does all the work but the virus takes the credit. MINI BUS TAXI VIRUS Crashes through your PC with very little regard for the rules of the internet highway. Stops data traffic for no reason. Causes other data to explode. Doesn't have a software licence. STRIKERS VIRUS Stops your PC in the middle of crucial production runs. Also causes your PC speakers to toi-toi at regular intervals, and isa lways demanding more memory. MATRIC PAPER VIRUS This virus is a stolen version of the realt hing. Makes your PC worth less than the plastic its made of. THIRD WORLD VIRUS Keeps turning your clock back by 20 years. Slows down the fastest PC to the speed of the operator and has to be manually supervised to check for errors. SQUATTER VIRUS Takes illegal residence of your PC and then starts stealing components, difficult to remove, claims to have more right to your PC than installed programmes, because its forefathers were there first. EDUCATION POLICY VIRUS Tries to drag all PCs down to the level of the slowest machine with the least memory. AK-47 VIRUS Is obsessed with killing your motherboard fatherboard and any other board that it finds. ANC VIRUS Also similar to the Microsoft Virus, Promises you the earth but fails to deliver or delivers software with more bugs than the original.
__________________
Tomislav (Tom) Sunic is a Croatian author, former diplomat, and political theorist of the New Right. In name of Christ.......fight against communist |
February 5th, 2009 | #133 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,808
|
Mugabe in Israel
Robert Mugabe goes on a state visit to Israel. While he is on a tour of Jerusalem he suffers a heart attack and passes away. The undertaker tells the accompanying people, 'You can have him shipped home for US$500,000/-or you can bury him here, in the Holy Land, for just US$100/-.' The Zimbabweans go into a corner and discuss for a minute. They come back to the undertaker and tell him they want Mugabe shipped home.
The undertaker is puzzled and asks, 'Why would you spend $500,000/- to ship him home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $100/-? With the money you save you could buy enough diesel for a year, buy enough medicines to wipe out cholera, buy enough generators to never have blackouts again.' The Zimbabweans replied, 'A long time ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead . .. . We just can't take that chance.' |
February 8th, 2009 | #134 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Beograd
Posts: 3,186
|
__________________
"To survive a war, you gotta become war." Rambo, John J. |
February 8th, 2009 | #135 |
Jews are not superior
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: USA - House of Babylonia where greed, immigration and homosexuality flourishes and the jews love it.
Posts: 1,609
|
English Joke:
What do you get when a car is white, brown, and red all over?
A car full of bloody mexicans.
__________________
A jew can't handle "truth" with dignity, but refutes with lies of exaggeration. Jews -- tall, tall, tall, tales they tell. Famous fairytale storytellers of the Holocaust. |
February 8th, 2009 | #136 |
Jews are not superior
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: USA - House of Babylonia where greed, immigration and homosexuality flourishes and the jews love it.
Posts: 1,609
|
South African Joke
Why did the South African chick cross the road?
She thought she saw a British cock.
__________________
A jew can't handle "truth" with dignity, but refutes with lies of exaggeration. Jews -- tall, tall, tall, tales they tell. Famous fairytale storytellers of the Holocaust. |
February 9th, 2009 | #138 |
I Come in Peace....
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Monrovia
Posts: 345
|
The changing landscape...
|
February 9th, 2009 | #139 |
......................... .
|
__________________
Tomislav (Tom) Sunic is a Croatian author, former diplomat, and political theorist of the New Right. In name of Christ.......fight against communist |
February 10th, 2009 | #140 |
......................... .
|
look at that jaws.....monsteruos act of nature
__________________
Tomislav (Tom) Sunic is a Croatian author, former diplomat, and political theorist of the New Right. In name of Christ.......fight against communist |
Tags |
#1, funny, humor, images, jokes, pictures |
Share |
Thread | |
Display Modes | |
|