The Diploma Mill Experience

[ray bateson]

Originally Posted by Leonard Rouse

Restroom Update

This morning, one of the stall doors is almost off its hinges, just barely hanging on by a tiny bit of metal. It's completely off the top hinge, resting askew agaist one of the walls.

It's like Lou Ferrigno had a transformation in there or something.

God that's hilarious.

When you get lucky, grocery-store restrooms are better than dinner and a movie. Nothing like watching a drunken native* with magazines enter, then tears off a toilet seat & lid in a single motion and, carrying both, nonchalantly wanders back outdoors.

*to be redundant

[P.E.]

One of the better threads I've seen around here lately.

Odds are 9 out of 10 English 101 teachers are going to be the most repulsive turds. English as an easy degree only a turd would major today, and 101 for the low-level bottom of the barrel tard-turd-teacher.

How's my English!?!

My English 101 was an Arab from Cyprus, darker than Ahmadinejad, and made us do our first paper on racism in the U.S.; this was at a SUNY university in New York, one which is - in its history - a very kike-laden school.

[Leonard Rouse]

Originally Posted by P.E.

Odds are 9 out of 10 English 101 teachers are going to be the most repulsive turds. English as an easy degree only a turd would major today, and 101 for the low-level bottom of the barrel tard-turd-teacher.

How's my English!?!

My English 101 was an Arab from Cyprus, darker than Ahmadinejad, and made us do our first paper on racism in the U.S.; this was at a SUNY university in New York, one which is - in its history - a very kike-laden school.

Butchy the Baptist is my English tax-leacher.

Butchy spent 30 minutes in one of the first classes going on (and on and on) about how the public has been duped by Pizza Hut. Pizza Hut always wins the "Best Pizza in X" in the local Village Voice free paper knock-off. He didn't use the phrase 'capitalist conspiracy,' but that was clearly the gist.

Butchy's 'reasoning':

1. (Most Important) Butchy doesn't like Pizza Hut pizza.

2. Pizza Hut does a lot of advertising.

3. Pizza Hut has many outlets.

Therefore, the poor, stupid public (that's everyone but Butchy) doesn't realize they've been duped.

It never crosses Butchy's mind that everybody doesn't think exactly as he does--that, perhaps inexplicably, some people do, in fact, like Pizza Hut pizza. I know I was shocked when I had the realization. But I was in my teens when I accepted this sad fact of life, not in my mid 40s shaking my fists at the pizza gods and evil corporations.

If it were not for evil advertising, everyone would vote his favorite pizza place #1. His favorite has one location and a limited advertising budget. But it is trendy with the illiberal set, which is most important with Butchy.

Butchy is right that advertising plays a huge part in consumer choice. But Butchy declines to ask why Domino's, Papa John's, and Little Ceasars--all with similar location numbers and advertising ubiquity--don't win.

Butchy also doesn't account for the fact that Pizza Hut wins repeatedly in a publication that caters to people just like him: illiberals--mostly young nominals, with a smattering of old beta die hards.

So Butchy is a bigot.

Specifically, he's a pizza bigot. It's not so much that he's wrong (which he is) as that he's absurd. He he has no concept whatsoever of how others recognize him.

Which is just like any other Baptist. Baptists tend to be low-rent bigots who mindlessly ally themselves to a worldview, make showy demonstrations of adherence, love to hear themselves talk, and love to jabber about how evil their betters are (behind their backs).

Which is just like Butchy.

Being Baptist is incidental to Butchy (and other white trash). It's just their vehicle to act-out their wackiness. Butchy thinks he's very open-minded because he's an atheist who figured-out the grand Pizza Hut conspiracy.

But Butchy can't run from his true nature, regardless of his label du jour.

[Leonard Rouse]

Originally Posted by P.E.

One of the better threads I've seen around here lately.

Odds are 9 out of 10 English 101 teachers are going to be the most repulsive turds. English as an easy degree only a turd would major today, and 101 for the low-level bottom of the barrel tard-turd-teacher.

How's my English!?!

My English 101 was an Arab from Cyprus, darker than Ahmadinejad, and made us do our first paper on racism in the U.S.; this was at a SUNY university in New York, one which is - in its history - a very kike-laden school.

Yeah, it's awful.

It's an example of multiple government protection/intervention.

First, the government runs the diploma mill and de facto sets 'standards' for the entirety of tertiary education.

Second, the government sets-up mini-monopolies within their own diploma mills--the 'core courses'.

Third, the government gives money to every hominid in the country to go to the diploma mill, and of course they must sit in something worse than worthless, like English.

Fourth, the government pays the Butchies of the world (via theft of white productive wages through taxation) to jabber in these non-substantive courses.

So, in Butchy's case, he's totally dependent on government.

His 'work'place is a creation of it. He's guaranteed to have 'business,' because students are forced to take his class. He's further guaranteed to have 'business' because the government essentially pays itself for these humanoids to sit in his room. And, of course, he gets a wage from that same government, constituted of confiscated earnings from productive whites.

That's not counting the negresses and Chinese(!) in on the same English racket at my diploma mill. *gag*

Or, rather, I be gagging--to put it in proper Engrish.

[Hunter Morrow]

English is a dead major. There isn't anything a professor can't give you that a library card and a computer with internet access and a PDF reader can't give you.

Speaking of readers, Kwans don't read. The typical Kwan simply doesn't read.
The numbers for average books read per year are tremendously inflated by voracious readers who read several books a month, or even a week.

Depending on the poll, 27 percent to as high as 80 percent of Americans don't read one book in a year. This is pathetic considering taxpayer provided libaries, laptops and notebooks and widespread internet access with free downloadable books, portable PDF readers like Kindle, the works. It is longer than a 10-1 shot that somebody will read 1 book per month.

It has never been easier to read a book and I bet Americans have never read less of them!

[Leonard Rouse]

I've got to read 5-page essay entitled "Why We Hate Fat People" by some hack from the University of Chicago. Actually, it's an excerpt from a book (that I'd think very few bought) that spiels this topic in 'depth.'

I'm supposed to comment on the aspects of logos, pathos, and ethos.

The 'thesis' is that it's white people who hate fat people because whites are racist.

No, I'm not kidding you.

His case is that niggers and spics are fatter than whites on average, and so whites verbalize their inherent racism in hatred of fatties, who are asserted to be disproportionately non-white.

So while the functionally literate other class members struggle to match subject and verb tense, I have to weigh the degree to which I'm going to pull my punches, and with what tack.

Enjoy your weekend!

EDIT: I really, really hate these people. And no, I'm not talking about the overweight.

[Leonard Rouse]

I've been remiss in my thread duties. There are quite a few anecdotes I'll try to post by-and-by.

Here's one that's fresh in my memory:

So I went to take an engineering exam this morning in the 'testing center.'

The testing center is a nightmare. It's a nightmare because it's run by black females, who constitute the supermajority of non-executive, non-faculty staff at my diploma mill. This means it's cartoonishly inefficient, but very, very serious.

One example of this is the pencil policy. The policy is: we can't have any. Well, actually we can. Of course, we must have them. But we can only use their pencils. But their pencils don't have any eraser left on the end. And they don't bother to sharpen their pencils during the day. So, one is left trying to erase dull pencil scrawl with the micrometer of pink eraser that still protrudes past the metal sheath.

I suppose the pencil policy came into existence during the age of the dreaded scan-tron, where a certain type of pencil 'lead' was the most important consideration, much more so than competence in the exam material.

But that age ended probably a decade ago. Mechanically graded exams are taken online. Hand-written exams are graded by eye, where graphite chemistry is irrelevant.

So one, of necessity, must walk to the back of the room periodically, where another negress (who looks like she escaped from the zoo and ransacked Stein Mart) sits glaring, and look through the pencil box for 'less bad' pencils that have been returned as students have left the room.

It's like being back in the camps.

To the meat:

The line to check-in is out the door of the place, so I have to wait on all these lowlifes taking their very important social 'science' exams to filter through the negro gauntlet before I can actually take the exam. There's a convoluted sign-in procedure that involves cumputers plus two layers of negro redundancy.

I notice (among the sundry other racial question marks) a quadroon (or octoroon) female. The quadroon eventually throws some kind of hybrid-chimpout with the mostly-chimp chimpesses over the incompetent chimpancy of the latter. It's something to do with a wrong name, and the negresses won't let her test because her name on one ID doesn't match exactly her name on another ID. The quadroon even brings breastfeeding into it, inexplicably.

Before this incident I had noticed a white guy signing-in to the computer terminal. I noticed because he made me look small, and that's rare. This guy looks like he should have been an NFL lineman. Filled-out a bit, but still a horse. Something about his age and bearing make me think military, or former military. He looks like a guy I used to know who was a submariner (perhaps surprisingly, given his size).

As the chimpout proceeds I can see 'The Submariner' is intensely interested, and he twice makes a very slight motion to speak, but doesn't. When there is finally a break in the action, he holds up an ID toward the quadroon, like Eliot Ness or something. I can see the back of it, and it's a common DoD ID. He very authoritatively motions to the quadroon to come with him and he can 'sort this all out for you, because this should be fixed immediately.' They leave the room, with The Submariner forfeiting his spot in a very long line to bear his white man's burden.

Jackass.

Still in line. Nowhere close to actually taking the exam.

There are two white females immediately in front of me. One short, young, petite brunette dressed smartly in hand-me-down apparel. The other, a slightly older, pudgy redhead who is dressed in slightly dirty pink scrubs, with bedroom slippers(?) for shoes. Not dressed for success, but she'd clean-up well.

Both are reaonably well-spoken. The brunette reveals herself to be a fool when she offers that 'this is the third time I've tried to take my test this morning because I didn't have all my information' (to log-in to the computer).

Time trucks on, slowly.

We finally wind our way into another room (after our first mandated negress encounter). I try to strike-up conversation to pass the time (DANGER. . .DANGER!!!). I had determined earlier that one was taking Western Civ post-1800 (or some such) and one was taking pre-1800. I say to the latter (the brunette). . .'So, Christopher Columbus. . .in 1493, Columbus sailed the deep blue sea, right?' (Big Fucking Mistake!!!)

We all share a mild laugh, and the brunette says 'No, I don't think that's it exactly (or words to that effect).

There is a pause.

The brunette says, haltingly, 'Actually, we don't really discuss Columbus at all.' The redhead concurs.

Another pause.

The Brunette Fool continues, 'We don't bother with him much because he was a very bad man.'

***Banging head against wall, on the inside.***

I say nothing, content to let it go.

But after another pause, Dirty Scrub Cunt launches into a diatribe about how awful Columbus was and all the people he killed, which made him a bad man.

I respond that we're exponentially better-off because of Columbus.

Dirty Scrub Cunt presses on that 'Actually, Columbus was a very bad man. . .he killed people. That's what we learned.' (words to that effect)

I respond that any bad outweighs the good by a factor of at least a million. And all these people who are supposedly 'oppressed' because of him wouldn't even exist to complain if not for him.

Dirty Scrub Cunt goes into full schoolmarm mode: 'I can understand how you might think that if you hadn't read all of the material that we have about his life. It's very understandable.'

Me (ready to punch wall): 'I've read a heck of a lot more about it than you ever have.'

Dirty Scrub Cunt clucks something unapprovingly. The Brunette Fool offers, 'It's wonderful you can determine what she's read just from one brief conversation.'

A true facepalm, but they'll live and die and never come within a mile of realizing it, or why.

The Brunette Fool consoles Dirty Scrub Cunt with some tale she heard recently of a poor Sioux(!?) child who petitioned President Obama to get her out of poverty. Presumably this has something to do with Christopher Columbus.

They finally get cleared to take their softball parrot exams by a negress who looks like Della Reese. Della almost prevents the Brunette Fool from taking her exam, because. . .because they're both fools. Della finally clears me after predictably misinterpreting a simple English sentence I uttered.

The exam? Aced it. It was all about pressures and densities and specific gravities and gravitational accelerations and temperature conversions and Newton*meters and atmospheres (or lack thereof) and Mercury (the planet) and mercury (the element) and Mercury (the program) that had Mercury capsules.

And hydrogen. And the ground. And moles.

But not ground moles.

[Leonard Rouse]

Originally Posted by Leonard Rouse

There's a convoluted sign-in procedure that involves cumputers plus two layers of negro redundancy.

. . .the most unintentionally funny thing I've expressed today--thus far.

[Hunter Morrow]

"1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue." Right?

THEN THAT EVIL ITALIAN SCUMBAG DID THIS AND THIS AND THIS AND WE SHOULD REPLACE COLUMBUS DAY WITH CESAR CHAVEZ DAY

Wouldn't shock me if this or something like it was on that Social Studies test.

"We still have American holidays that celebrate whites and their atrocities. Who should take these holidays over?"

[Maxfield Parrish]

"...and Mercury (the planet) and mercury (the element) and Mercury (the program) that had Mercury capsules."

I'm surprised they didn't ask you about Mercury the god and - most importantly of all - the Mercury Cougar. Not a proper education without these.

[Leonard Rouse]

Originally Posted by Maxfield Parrish

I'm surprised they didn't ask you about Mercury the god and - most importantly of all - the Mercury Cougar. Not a proper education without these.

Good ones.

The car easily could have been included. Heck, the god could have been, too, via some tortured logic.

[Leonard Rouse]

We all (generally) love to lament our bad breaks. My observation is that good luck and bad luck pretty much even out, though the former is soon forgotten.

We had a quiz in history class today. I thought it was to be Thursday. I even wrote it in my notes as Thursday. Nope. Today.

I studied a bare minimum over the weekend, intending to do most of it tomorrow and Thursday morning.

As soon as I discovered my bad 'luck,' I looked hurriedly over the entirety of the notes (on the Ming and Ching Dynasties of the late Chinese imperial period). I have a solid A in the course, so I wasn't happy about the situation, but I was resigned to chalk this one up in the 'L' column. Whatcha gonna do?

So the test is given orally, with us to write down our answers on a sheet of notebook paper--basically a glorified fill-in-the-blank, with a couple of multi-part(ers) and maybe one short paragraph.

10 questions.

The very first question was 'name the last emperor of the Ming Dynasty.'

A true facepalm, right? Wrong. It was the last name my eyes glanced across before I put up my notes.

Second question: Who was Matteo Riccio?

Answer: Jesuit emissary to China--again, something I'd glanced at just prior to the test.

And it went on like that.

I felt like a pitcher must feel when he's got a perfect game going.

After question 6, I realize I'm going to do much better than I anticipated.

Question 7. . .another one I know--something I studied over the weekend.

8. . .9. . .I've knocked them all out like I know what I'm doing.

Question 10: What was the result of the Rites Controversy?

'The Pope recalled the Jesuits from China in favor of the Franciscans and Dominicans, the latter orders being on poor terms with the Chinese.'

I think that answer is satisfactory. At least I knew what it was.

10/10 (I'm pretty sure)

Amazing.

Gotta love your good luck, too.

[ray bateson]

Originally Posted by OTPTT

I'm working on a waterproof holster for such occasions, but for the record I'd like to say that there is no way General Lee could know whether or not I carry in the shower.

[TimothyLeeAdams]

Originally Posted by Hunter Morrow

English is a dead major. There isn't anything a professor can't give you that a library card and a computer with internet access and a PDF reader can't give you.

As for your statement, well, there's plenty an English instructor can actually give that you are very unlikely to develop the depth of study to learn on your own. Rhetoric, media analysis, and textual awareness are not likely to be developed without a second set of eyeballs. Writing instruction has suffered greatly--we're not even supposed to teach grammar anymore, which makes teaching writing somewhat problematic.

What happens is you're a teacher that's not only aware of media saturation and manipulation, but teach your students serious analysis skills?

They get rid of you...

The field of literacy (that's what "English" really is), is full of all sorts of empty busywork, done by people who need something clever published or presented in order to get/keep their jobs. I've reeked havoc with some interesting playing around with this idea--and have paid for it on occasion also.

I and some other instructors from my university are currently developing a complete online course in English/Literacy instruction that will be available online for little or no cost. Some items will have a nominal download fee of .99cents, other services will be free or priced as cheaply as possible. We hope this project goes a long way towards ending the practices that folks here have come to hate, and return literacy instruction to both a practical focus and a traditional humanist approach.

Stay tuned.