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Old July 16th, 2014 #281
Matthaus Hetzenauer
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Originally Posted by Alex Linder View Post


BALDWIN, Fla. -- A young boy was bitten by a snake Friday in Baldwin.

The Baldwin Fire Station Captain tell FCN a 4 year old boy was bitten by a rattlesnake around 1 p.m. He was transferred to the Baldwin Fire Station and then flown to UF Shands in Gainesville.

His name and condition is unknown.

No other information was immediately available.

Update: The boy, Brayden Bullard, has passed away.

http://www.firstcoastnews.com/story/...-boy/10460139/
Now when an adult is stupid enough to pick up a venomous snake, as that "Moron down!" asshole did a few posts back (or as I did with that coral snake), and winds up getting bit, why, that's just plain funny; regardless of whether he lives or dies as a result. But when a 4-year-old dies in such a painful and frightening manner, it's truly sad. (Imagine what was running through the poor kid's head while he was being driven with wailing sirens here; flown like a bat out of hell there; paramedics swarming all over him like bees.)

You just ruined what's left of my morning, Alex; though I know it wasn't your intention to do so.
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Old July 17th, 2014 #282
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Originally Posted by Matthaus Hetzenauer View Post
Now when an adult is stupid enough to pick up a venomous snake, as that "Moron down!" asshole did a few posts back (or as I did with that coral snake), and winds up getting bit, why, that's just plain funny; regardless of whether he lives or dies as a result. But when a 4-year-old dies in such a painful and frightening manner, it's truly sad. (Imagine what was running through the poor kid's head while he was being driven with wailing sirens here; flown like a bat out of hell there; paramedics swarming all over him like bees.)

You just ruined what's left of my morning, Alex; though I know it wasn't your intention to do so.
sorry about that. notice i didnt criticize the kid. these things happen. the guy in missouri was a grown idiot; the kid in florida was just doing what comes naturally to some of us. snakes are an 'attractive nuisance' as lawyers say, to those who like them!
 
Old July 17th, 2014 #283
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hey! there's an animal whose head contains two phials of flesh-dissolving acid...i must pick it up!
 
Old July 18th, 2014 #284
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Originally Posted by Alex Linder View Post
hey! there's an animal whose head contains two phials of flesh-dissolving acid...i must pick it up!
If you're a good, God-fearing Baptist, it won't bite you. Says so right in the good book. Somewhere in the middle, I think.
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Old July 18th, 2014 #285
Matthaus Hetzenauer
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Originally Posted by Donnie in Ohio View Post
If you're a good, God-fearing Baptist, it won't bite you. Says so right in the good book. Somewhere in the middle, I think.
Off topic but, this reminds me of a Pentecostal I used to work construction with in south Florida during the mid-70s. This holy roller was forever quoting from the Holy Babble, and giving his personal estimate of the odds of virtually everyone he ran into booking a one-way ticket aboard that Hell-bound train. (Myself? Why, I was a shoo-in, of course).

George was the thirtysomething foreman, with a wife and two young boys on the homestead. While the rest of us, long-haired rock 'n' rollers in our late teens, ran around in the brutally hot summer sun with nothing on but shorts and work boots, Mr. Fire 'n' Brimstone was clad in Dickies work pants and a light blue dress shirt; sleeves rolled down and buttoned at the wrist, with only the top button on the collar left open. While we of the crew had sweat dripping off our balls within a half hour of starting work, his just about dropped to the ground like a bag of wet cement due to his stubborn refusal to dress accordingly. And just why did this asshole subject himself to this form of torture, you may ask? Because of his totally fucked up religious beliefs, that's why.

Now get this:

Ol' George thought it "obscene" for not only women, but men also to expose parts of their bodies that needn't be exposed. He actually admitted to this when one particularly hot and humid August day I put the question to him. And if I wasn't laughing hard enough at that point, he then proceeded to explain why he wouldn't allow a TV in the house. No, it wasn't for the reason that some of us here have decided to finally kill our jewtubes (media brainwashing by the shotcallers in Hymiewood), but because he believed shows such as I Dream of Jeannie and Gilligan's Island were -- ya ready? -- borderline pornographic. That's right: even though Barbara Eden was forced by censors to pull her pants up over her navel so as not to offend the bluenoses who just may happen to tune in, still her midriff was bare; and that in itself may lead those of weaker faith to impure thoughts. And what about Gilligan's Island, I was about to ask. But then it occurred to me: what about those skin-tight cut-offs that Mary Ann paraded around in? those that looked like they were painted onto her hot little ass? Uhh, I think I just answered my own question -- point taken, George.
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Last edited by Matthaus Hetzenauer; July 18th, 2014 at 01:20 PM.
 
Old July 19th, 2014 #286
N.B. Forrest
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Matthaus Hetzenauer View Post
Off topic but, this reminds me of a Pentecostal I used to work construction with in south Florida during the mid-70s. This holy roller was forever quoting from the Holy Babble, and giving his personal estimate of the odds of virtually everyone he ran into booking a one-way ticket aboard that Hell-bound train. (Myself? Why, I was a shoo-in, of course).

George was the thirtysomething foreman, with a wife and two young boys on the homestead. While the rest of us, long-haired rock 'n' rollers in our late teens, ran around in the brutally hot summer sun with nothing on but shorts and work boots, Mr. Fire 'n' Brimstone was clad in Dickies work pants and a light blue dress shirt; sleeves rolled down and buttoned at the wrist, with only the top button on the collar left open. While we of the crew had sweat dripping off our balls within a half hour of starting work, his just about dropped to the ground like a bag of wet cement due to his stubborn refusal to dress accordingly. And just why did this asshole subject himself to this form of torture, you may ask? Because of his totally fucked up religious beliefs, that's why.

Now get this:

Ol' George thought it "obscene" for not only women, but men also to expose parts of their bodies that needn't be exposed. He actually admitted to this when one particularly hot and humid August day I put the question to him. And if I wasn't laughing hard enough at that point, he then proceeded to explain why he wouldn't allow a TV in the house. No, it wasn't for the reason that some of us here have decided to finally kill our jewtubes (media brainwashing by the shotcallers in Hymiewood), but because he believed shows such as I Dream of Jeannie and Gilligan's Island were -- ya ready? -- borderline pornographic. That's right: even though Barbara Eden was forced by censors to pull her pants up over her navel so as not to offend the bluenoses who just may happen to tune in, still her midriff was bare; and that in itself may lead those of weaker faith to impure thoughts. And what about Gilligan's Island, I was about to ask. But then it occurred to me: what about those skin-tight cut-offs that Mary Ann paraded around in? those that looked like they were painted onto her hot little ass? Uhh, I think I just answered my own question -- point taken, George.
Man, do I know the type...my mother's sister was a Church of God Pentecostal, wife of a pastor, in fact: this is the hardcore denomination that looks down on, say, the Assembly of God-ers (Swaggart's denomination) for allowing women to wear makeup & jewelery. Just as you recounted, the men don't wear shorts in summer, and never take their shirts off in public...Plus, like your George, she was ALWAYS preaching - especially to the family...

I'm glad I haven't darkened the door of any church for over 30 years.
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Old July 19th, 2014 #287
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Originally Posted by Matthaus Hetzenauer View Post

And what about Gilligan's Island, I was about to ask. But then it occurred to me: what about those skin-tight cut-offs that Mary Ann paraded around in? those that looked like they were painted onto her hot little ass? Uhh, I think I just answered my own question -- point taken, George.
I would have pushed Ginger down a flight of stairs to get to Mary Ann.
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Old July 19th, 2014 #288
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I would have pushed Ginger down a flight of stairs to get to Mary Ann.
I'm with you, jack: that little Dawn Wells made it swell.....
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Old July 20th, 2014 #289
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Originally Posted by N.B. Forrest View Post
I'm with you, jack: that little Dawn Wells made it swell.....
I was pretty hot for Ginger for the longest time, since I love redheads...until I found out Tina Louise was a jewess, real name Blacker. So it's Mary Ann by default.
 
Old July 21st, 2014 #290
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I'm with you, jack: that little Dawn Wells made it swell.....
Along with "Briefs or boxers?", that seems to be one of those questions some grinning bimbo with a microphone, one working for a news or entertainment show, would ask Joe Blow on the street: "Ginger or Mary Ann?" That's all she would have to ask, and every damn dude on the planet would immediately know what was meant by the question: Would you prefer to fuck Ginger's eye-teeth out, or Mary Ann's? And of course every red-blooded American male opts for that hot little brunette in the daisy-dukes.
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Old July 21st, 2014 #291
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I'm glad I haven't darkened the door of any church for over 30 years.
Oh boy, now you went ahead and did it -- here I go on a rant...

You don't darken a damn thing, NB. (Though I'm sure you're aware of that. I'm just trying to clue in the clueless here.) It's the door of the church itself which darkened the mind of incipient freethinkers; those curious and doubtful who eventually got off their lazy asses and actually thought for themselves for a change; put to use their paradoxical "God-given reason" to figure out just why lightning appears in the sky, why the earth quakes, why the sun rises and sets, why this and why that. That hallucinogen-induced and imagined Spook in the Sky that the "prophets" warn of, that epitome of cruelty who's going to condemn you to an eternity of pain and suffering beyond the scope of human comprehension for not crossing your T's and dotting your I's, didn't have a damn thing to do with anything at all. Screw him -- strike me dead with a bolt of lightning, why don't you...

Mind-blowing, isn't it? how in this day and age the majority of folks in "civilized" first-world countries still buy into revealed religion. Think about it: As Thomas Paine explains in the first chapter of The Age of Reason, a revelation can only be a revelation to the person it's revealed to in the first place; all else is hearsay, grapeline gossip better suited for a sewing circle. How the hell do you know that the revelations of Abraham, Moses, John or Mohammad weren't merely the imaginings of raving lunatics? of outright liars? of retards who simply misinterpretted the message? And we think we have it over "dumb" animals? those poor beasts who lack the ability to reason? LOL! I don't think so, Jack...

Hey, we'd better get back on topic, guys; Alex is going to freak. Picture: "You sonsofbitches! This thread's about snakes; not what you'd like to do with Mary Ann and yours!"



p.s. And one more thing. Fuck God. I don't give a da -- ZAP! CRISP!...whoops! too late...
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Old July 21st, 2014 #292
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Along with "Briefs or boxers?", that seems to be one of those questions some grinning bimbo with a microphone, one working for a news or entertainment show, would ask Joe Blow on the street: "Ginger or Mary Ann?" That's all she would have to ask, and every damn dude on the planet would immediately know what was meant by the question: Would you prefer to fuck Ginger's eye-teeth out, or Mary Ann's? And of course every red-blooded American male opts for that hot little brunette in the daisy-dukes.
Ginger was too obvious; a bargain-basement Jayne Mansfield-type, who was a bargain-basement Marilyn Monroe.

Mary Ann, on the other hand, was a cute, sweet little farm girl, innocent (or skilled at seeming so) of the effect her marvelous ass & thighs were having on male organs.
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Old July 21st, 2014 #293
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Plus she could make a luscious coconut cream pie. Yum!
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Old July 22nd, 2014 #294
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Sssssafe dreams! Baby sleeps soundly as he is protected by four COBRAS


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  • The video was posted to YouTube in October of 2013
  • At one point, the baby seems to grab one of the cobras, but isn't attacked
  • People opposed to snake-charming say that the video is a fraud and that the animals have likely had their fangs ripped out and their mouths sewn shut
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Old July 22nd, 2014 #295
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Originally Posted by N.B. Forrest View Post
Mary Ann, on the other hand, was a cute, sweet little farm girl.


Last edited by Samuel Toothgold; July 22nd, 2014 at 05:46 AM.
 
Old July 22nd, 2014 #296
Matthaus Hetzenauer
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Well as long as we seem to be stuck on the subject of Gilligan's Island (Hey, don't look at me, Alex; I'm the one who wanted to get back on topic...remember? These guys made me do it.)

I read a TV Guide interview of Dawn Wells ("Mary Ann") many years ago; and one of the tales she related had to do with the cast's visit to a state prison during the show's peak in the '60s. (Just why the show's jew honchos got it into their fat heads to have the Skipper and his mates do so is beyond me.)

Wells said that both she and Tina Louise ("Ginger") were a bit apprehensive about having a shitload of sex-starved convicts ogling and groping them while on tour of the joint. But, says Wells, it was actually the professor, he played by the somewhat hunky Russell Johnson, who wound up having the most to worry about. Seems as though more than a few of the cons had, sexually speaking, grown accustomed to, and had developed a definite preference for, the male of the species. To hell with the women, most would've jumped over 10 Gingers or 20 Mary Anns to get to the prof's tight little virgin ass.

Picture:

Lifer: "Yo! whitebread muthafukka!...Make sho' ya puts yo' dro's on backwuds de nex' time ya comes heah; else I be shubbin' a shank up yo' ass instedda mah dick!"

Johnson: *gulp*
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Old July 22nd, 2014 #297
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ST. CHARLES, Mo. – A St. Charles man has died as a result of a bite from a copperhead snake while camping in southeast Missouri.
You gotta really fuck with a copperhead to get bit, like be a completely unaware tard and step on one, etc. They're normally pretty docile snakes. I found one in my storage shed a few months ago and used a stick to lead it into a 5 gallon bucket. It didn't even try to fight. I've done that with garter snakes and they'll usually snap at you. Copperheads are even less aggressive than many non-venomous types. Natural selection was supposed to infuse a natural fear of snakes into us by instinct, because most of ancestors who survived did so by not fucking with snakes.
 
Old July 24th, 2014 #298
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Dinner is ssserved: Massive Indian rock python caught on camera swallowing antelope whole


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  • Impressive digestive feat captured by Indian animal rescuer in Gujarat
  • He photographed a rock python devouring an Asian antelope, or blue bull
  • The snake, fearing attack, eventually regurgitated its prey
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Old July 24th, 2014 #299
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Scared off: In the end the snake regurgitates the antelope as it feared being attacked by the locals.
Ignorant Slumdogs that they are. If anyone, they should know that that snake had enough food to keep it docile for many months. Now that it's hungry, it'll certainly be dangerous to Slumpuppies.
 
Old August 9th, 2014 #300
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