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June 20th, 2010 | #1 | |
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20 year age difference in marriage best?
Found this article on African Crisis
Quote:
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December 23rd, 2010 | #2 |
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My husband is 15 years older than me.
We married when I was approx 25 and he was 40. The article does make sense in some ways but there are also a lot of variables, trials and tribulations, due to the age gap that are not addressed. Many people will scream vehemently that age doesn't matter and they personally have no issues with the age difference. If this is true for them, congratulations. I suspect, however, that sometimes there are quite a bit of denial or other issues at play. I believe it does to a certain extent have much to do with the individuals but for me as the younger partner, I find myself in situations I would never be in had I married someone not quite so distance in age. For example being mistaken for his daughter. Often. Being at different stages of life growth and life experience can be huge as well as health. Ideally, I would say that a 10 year gap would be best as it seems to be those extra 5 years that really stir up trouble. This is all my own opinion and experiences of course. Best Wishes, Lily |
December 23rd, 2010 | #3 |
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"[W]omen age so much more quickly than men, that a marked disparity of age at marriage, even if it amounts to fifteen years, is much more normal than the majority of people, in England at least, suppose."
"It is extraordinary that the nubile Anglo-Saxon girl will not see this, more particularly as her unwillingness to do so is purely intellectual and acquired from the false values that surround her. This is more especially so in the working classes, where an absurd superstition — it cannot be given a more dignified name — against any disparity of more than two or three years, has somehow acquired so strong a hold upon the female, that a man even ten years a girl's senior is classed as 'too old'. If only people understood how much more easily happiness and fidelity are secured for both parties to a match by a minimum of ten years' seniority in the man, the perplexity now prevailing in regard to the increasing domestic disharmony in Anglo-Saxon countries would be dispelled, and a wiser practice would be adopted" (Anthony M. Ludovici). |
December 23rd, 2010 | #4 |
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Thats probably true..
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December 24th, 2010 | #5 |
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I would have to agree, men DO become more attractive with age, especially as they reach their 40's.
I would cite the Norwegian explorer Thor Heyerdahl as an example of a male who remained "attractive" until the end of his days. |
December 24th, 2010 | #6 |
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I remember watching the Spike Lee joint, Buncombe X, when 'dat priddy nigger', Denzel, states the the Koran says that a man should choose a wife who is half his age plus 7 years. I thought, that's actually not bad advice.
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December 24th, 2010 | #7 |
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I certainly don't disagree with anything said, especially the part about men becoming more attractive with age.
I also failed to include that the issues that arise can easily be overcome with love, understanding and communication along with occasionally having to put one's foot down. (His, not mine, lol.) As a young woman, I had to hit some brick walls to outgrow some nuances for sure that a much younger man would likely not have been able to break due to lack of life experience or being solid in where he is and where he stands. I have had moments of sheer frustration, down right brattiness to be honest, testing the waters. Shame on me, I know. I wouldn't trade him for the world but I think what bothers me in the end is that I fear losing him and becoming a widow earlier than most. I understand that none of us are gonna make it out of here alive and any of us can go at any time and if SHTF.... I am woman though and emotional. Think too much too. |
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