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Old August 14th, 2015 #1
Jerry Abbott
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: In the hills north of Hillsboro WV
Posts: 1,048
Default A Legal Defense against a charge of indecent exposure

Charged with indecent exposure, I am called upon to explain myself to a judge.

"All right, then," I said to the judge. "Let us suppose that Mrs. Smith is standing on a street corner, and that I walk by naked."

"I suppose, since I took my clothes off, that I've given her implicit permission to stare at my private parts. I don't insist on it. But if she wants to, she may."

"If Mrs. Smith does not want to look at my private parts, then she has an infinity of other directions in which to turn her gaze."

"And if my private parts command her attention despite the fact that they occupy less than one thousandth of the solid angle available to her line-of-sight, then it must be that she wants them to."

"So if Mrs. Smith looks because she wants to, and I don't care whether she looks or not, then where's the problem?"

"On the other hand, if Mrs. Smith is such a hypocrite that she stares at my private parts, from ten feet away, and then complains about having seen them, then she's like someone who walks up to you, slaps you in the face, and then complains that you have hurt her hand."

"There, Your Honor. I've explained myself."
 
Old August 14th, 2015 #2
Jimmy Marr
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Jew S. A.
Posts: 3,679
Default

There was a young lawyer named Rex
With diminutive organs of sex.
When hauled in for exposure,
He replied with composure,
"De minimis non curat lex."
 
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