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Old November 14th, 2005 #1
Matthaus Hetzenauer
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Default "A Christmas Carol" -- (Ghetto Style)

It be da nite befo' Chrih'mit an' all thru da crib.
wuzn't shit worf eatin', not eeben a rib,
Da du-rags be hung by da chimnee wif slack,
an' hopes dat fat honkie be fillin' dem wif crack.

Da chillun wuz chillin' all snug in dey beds,
wif vizshuns ub chitlins breakdancin' in dey heds,
Me an' da bitch wuz kickin' it wif sum killa blo',
her in a raggidy-ass baffrobe, me in mah 'fro.

Den out on da roof ah hurd such a noize,
ah say, "Mus' be dat cracka an' summa his boyz",
Away to da winda ah flew like a duck,
open it up say'n, "Yo, wut da fuck?!?"

Dis bigass whiteboy be so roun' an' so thick,
ah know'd rite away it be dat honkie St. Nick,
An' den came da soun' ub a raindeah hoof,
dem muhfukkin' bitches be tearin' up mah roof!

Ah pulls in mah hed an' tu'n aroun',
an wut do ah see but dat bigass klown,
He dun squeaze his fat se'f down da chimnee so fas',
ah say, "Gib up da shit -- ah busta cap in yo' ass!"

He reech up hi an' say, "Don't shoot, don't shoot!
I'll give you all that I have, take all of my loot!",
Ah gits mah AIDS-ridin' ho' frum da sack,
da bitch cum runnin', jonesin' fo' smack.

She wint thru his bag an' coodn't fine shit,
so ah say, "Lis'n up, sucka, dis be it --
Betta gib up da smack an' gib up da coke,
ah puts one thru yo' hed, dis ain't no joke!"

He reech in his pockitt an' pull out his stash,
an' ah say, "All ub it, all ub it, eeben yo' cash!",
He be shakin' so fas' an' shakin' so hard,
as ah wuz laffin', he jet fo' da yard.

Ah ran affa his ass wif a nine at his hed,
fillin' da geddo nite air wif da soun' o' led,
Ah shot an' ah shot at dat fat white sucka,
but coodn't hit shit, dat honkie-ass muhfukka.

Ah shuff'ud on back to da ratz an' da bed,
ain't gittin' no pussy, ain't gittin' no hed,
Dat nasty-ass ho' lef' me hi an' dry,
she took all mah monee, dat ain't no lie.

As ah be fixin' ta goes ta sleep.
ah hurd a far'way voice, so jolly an' deep,
Agin ah runs to da winda an' looks out,
ta see dat fatass honkie flyin' about.

Da raindeah be totin' his ass all oba da hood,
throwin' out toyz, chillun snaggin' wut dey cood,
Wif a wink an' a nod wile lookin' mah way,
ah hurd dat ol' cracka merilee say:

"Now Dasher! Now Vixen!
On Prancer! On Blitzen!
On Donner! On Cupid!
Yo, Buckwheat -- do you look fuckin' stupid!"

Ah shuts da winda know'n ah been boint,
dat cracka lef' us nuffin', not eeben a joint,
So ah sits down on da edge o' da bed,
cryin' like a bitch, ain't got shit fo' da hed.

Drif'n off fo' sum mutch kneaded sleep,
a thawt cum ta mah hed, so strong an' so deep,
Nex' yeah ah be settin' a trap fo' dat punk,
gonna snatch alla his pills an' alla his junk.

So let dat bitch ripoff dis nigga tonite,
in 'nutha twelb munths, ah be settin' shit rite,
As soon as he lan' on da roof wif his sled,
ah takes all he gots, den blow off his hed!

Last edited by Matthaus Hetzenauer; November 14th, 2005 at 07:24 AM.
 
Old November 14th, 2005 #2
Matthaus Hetzenauer
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Default

(lemme hold a) coda --

So whitey dun fukked me one mo' time,
an' theah's mah 'scuse fo'a life o' crime,
An' if y'all don't gib up dat gub'mint chek,
ah makes yo' lives a fizzical wrek.

So if ya don't wants riots an' so-shul unrest,
ya betta gib in, betta gib up yo' best,
Ah gots one las' queschun, so lis'n up, foo',
Wheah be mah foety akuhs, wheah be mah mule?
 
Old November 14th, 2005 #3
PastorTroy
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Default The joke's on you

OK, can you translate that in English so I can sing along? I know you are trying to make fun of Blacks but the joke is lost if no one can understand what you wrote. Not very clever is it?
 
Old November 14th, 2005 #4
awakenedaryan
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Default Don't understand it?

Quote:
Originally Posted by PastorTroy
OK, can you translate that in English so I can sing along? I know you are trying to make fun of Blacks but the joke is lost if no one can understand what you wrote. Not very clever is it?
Sheesh, it's easy since niggers spell the way they verbalize, just read the damn thing like you have an eighth grade education and that was done while high on crack.
 
Old November 15th, 2005 #5
Matthaus Hetzenauer
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PastorTroy
OK, can you translate that in English so I can sing along? I know you are trying to make fun of Blacks but the joke is lost if no one can understand what you wrote. Not very clever is it?
Actually, gorilla-banger, the joke's on you (for the umpteenth time). The post was written in ebonics, exactly as I would imagine one of your beloved, 85 IQ-endowed niggers writing it. But, you already knew that...didn't you?

Also, you don't "sing along" with it -- you simply read it. But, in fairness to you, how can I expect a "White" man, who in all likelihood celebrates Kwanzaa, to know that?
 
Old November 15th, 2005 #6
PastorTroy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HoaxThis
Actually, gorilla-banger, the joke's on you (for the umpteenth time). The post was written in ebonics, exactly as I would imagine one of your beloved, 85 IQ-endowed niggers writing it. But, you already knew that...didn't you?
No you did not imagine it, that's how you always write on this forum. Have I not told you this before? You are a retarded monkey, HoaxThis.


Quote:
Originally Posted by HoaxThis
Also, you don't "sing along" with it -- you simply read it. But, in fairness to you, how can I expect a "White" man, who in all likelihood celebrates Kwanzaa, to know that?
Do you even know what a carol is?
 
Old November 15th, 2005 #7
Matthaus Hetzenauer
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Default You really are boring...aren't you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by PastorTroy
No you did not imagine it, that's how you always write on this forum. Have I not told you this before? You are a retarded monkey, HoaxThis.




Do you even know what a carol is?
I was positively drooling in anticipation of pecking out a post making a total liar out of you (as witnessed by your "that's how you always write" statement -- which is proven to be an outright lie simply by glancing at post #5 of this very thread) and a complete idiot (not knowing that "A Christmas Carol" is read aloud, not "sung), but, far be it from me...

Let me give you a little advice, gorilla-banger (and he calls me a monkey ) --

If you can't, for the life of you, come up with an at least half-way decent reply....just don't say anything at all. This way you won't appear as stupid and naive as you really are. (Of course, we VNNers know better -- it's the visitors and lurkers that you'll really fool).
 
Old November 15th, 2005 #8
PastorTroy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HoaxThis
I was positively drooling in anticipation of pecking out a post making a total liar out of you (as witnessed by your "that's how you always write" statement -- which is proven to be an outright lie simply by glancing at post #5 of this very thread)
You did that after I asked you to translate your gibberish into English. Who knows what would have happened if I didn't say anything.

Quote:
Originally Posted by HoaxThis
and a complete idiot (not knowing that "A Christmas Carol" is read aloud, not "sung), but, far be it from me...
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=carol

2 entries found for carol.
car·ol Audio pronunciation of "carol" ( P ) Pronunciation Key (krl)
n.

1. A song of praise or joy, especially for Christmas.
2. An old round dance often accompanied by singing.


v. car·oled, also car·olled car·ol·ing, car·ol·ling car·ols, car·ols
v. intr.

1. To sing in a loud, joyous manner.
2. To go from house to house singing Christmas songs.


v. tr.

1. To celebrate in or as if in song: caroling the victory.
2. To sing loudly and joyously.



Quote:
Originally Posted by HoaxThis
Let me give you a little advice, gorilla-banger (and he calls me a monkey ) --

If you can't, for the life of you, come up with an at least half-way decent reply....just don't say anything at all. This way you won't appear as stupid and naive as you really are. (Of course, we VNNers know better -- it's the visitors and lurkers that you'll really fool).
You are a retarded monkey HoaxThis whether you admit it or not. Now repeat after me and say this out loud "HoaxThis is a retarded monkey". I would also urge all those visitors and lurkers to click on your name and search for your other posts to see for themselves that I am not just picking on you.
 
Old November 15th, 2005 #9
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Dont you have a gorilla for a wife? I'm sure she could interpret this for you. Don't even lie pastor goy, you know that big ashy ape with the unshaven legs and armpits laying in your bed can translate this for you.
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Old November 15th, 2005 #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PastorTroy
OK, can you translate that in English so I can sing along? I know you are trying to make fun of Blacks but the joke is lost if no one can understand what you wrote. Not very clever is it?
Hey Einstein, it's a GHETTO Christmas Carol. That means you rap it, not sing it. Rapping is not singing. It's also the funniest damn Christmas carol I've seen in a while. Of course, they now have their own Christmas, called Kwanzaa. So maybe we should call it a Kwanzaa Karol.

Just out of curiosity, Pastor Troy, which of the two holidays do you and your wife celebrate? Or do you celebrate both in order to extort twice as many presents from your relatives?
 
Old November 16th, 2005 #11
Hans
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Default This is "Sieg" with a new computer.

Quote:
Originally Posted by HoaxThis
It be da nite befo' Chrih'mit an' all thru da crib.
wuzn't shit worf eatin', not eeben a rib,
Da du-rags be hung by da chimnee wif slack,
an' hopes dat fat honkie be fillin' dem wif crack.
LOL! Classic, HxT! :cheers:

(Formerly "Sieg")
 
Old November 16th, 2005 #12
Hans
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PastorTroy
OK, can you translate that in English so I can sing along? I know you are trying to make fun of blacks but the joke is lost if no one can understand what you wrote. Not very clever is it?
You're the only one who didn't understand it. I had no trouble at all. See, you have to have a fundamental grasp of English, a good imagination, and a sense of humour.

Don't know about the first two, but you sure as hell lack the third.
 
Old November 16th, 2005 #13
Matthaus Hetzenauer
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Default Un-fuckin'-real!

Quote:
Originally Posted by PastorTroy
You did that after I asked you to translate your gibberish into English. Who knows what would have happened if I didn't say anything.



http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=carol

2 entries found for carol.
car·ol Audio pronunciation of "carol" ( P ) Pronunciation Key (krl)
n.

1. A song of praise or joy, especially for Christmas.
2. An old round dance often accompanied by singing.


v. car·oled, also car·olled car·ol·ing, car·ol·ling car·ols, car·ols
v. intr.

1. To sing in a loud, joyous manner.
2. To go from house to house singing Christmas songs.


v. tr.

1. To celebrate in or as if in song: caroling the victory.
2. To sing loudly and joyously.





You are a retarded monkey HoaxThis whether you admit it or not. Now repeat after me and say this out loud "HoaxThis is a retarded monkey". I would also urge all those visitors and lurkers to click on your name and search for your other posts to see for themselves that I am not just picking on you.
LOL! Can you believe this guy?!
 
Old November 16th, 2005 #14
Matthaus Hetzenauer
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Anchorage Activist
Hey Einstein, it's a GHETTO Christmas Carol. That means you rap it, not sing it. Rapping is not singing.
The nigger-lover understands perfectly well that this particular carol is spoken, not sung. It's just that he's painted himself into a corner and doesn't know how to get out. He stubbornly refuses to cede the point and with each post he puts up, he just digs himself in deeper.

Any normal White man would have dropped the subject after being made a fool of, out of embarrassment alone. Not our most reverend Pastor Troy though. He has no pride in either himself or his race -- he is afterall, married to a nigger. Apparently he surrendered whatever dignity he did possess long ago for a piece of black ass. I hope he chokes on it.

Last edited by Matthaus Hetzenauer; November 16th, 2005 at 01:28 PM.
 
Old November 16th, 2005 #15
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Default Funny !!

I'd post a longer thread, but my eyes are so full of tears from laughing so hard, I can barely see the keyboard. One of the funniest post I ever read !!!
 
Old November 16th, 2005 #16
Matthaus Hetzenauer
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Default And this one calls people "retarded?!"

Quote:
Originally Posted by PastorTroy
You did that after I asked you to translate your gibberish into English. Who knows what would have happened if I didn't say anything.


Now let me see if I'm getting this right (I find it hard to believe what I'm reading here) --

I start a thread posted in ebonics and you ask me to translate into English for you. I inform you the post was intentionally written in ebonics, telling you I wrote it as I imagined a nigger would, and you say that I always write like that...correct?

Then, when I make a liar out of you by referring to my proper use of English in post #5, you say I did so after you asked me to translate it for you...

Now, I'm trying like hell to follow your line of "reasoning" here, gorilla-banger, but, you sure don't make it easy. Are you saying that I always write in ebonics and that I put up a coherent, lucid post in post #5 merely to...cover up my poor grammar/spelling?!

Is that what you're trying to say? I hope you're aware that this is easily disproven, as you yourself should know. Afterall, you did invite people here to review some of my past posts to see what a "retarded monkey" I am.

I had two goals when starting this thread and it looks as though I've succeeded on both counts. First, I wanted to amuse my fellow VNNers, and second, I wanted to draw you in and make a complete ass out of you.

I'd say my game plan worked -- wouldn't you?

HO :box:AX
 
Old November 16th, 2005 #17
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Well, I for one think it did.
 
Old November 16th, 2005 #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PastorTroy
Do you even know what a carol is?
This is a Carol, or so i'm told...

It was Christmas Day in the workhouse,
The season of good cheer.
The paupers' hearts were merry,
Their bellies full of beer.

The pompous workhouse master,
As he strode about the halls,
Wished them a Merry Christmas,
To which they answered: `Balls!`

This angered the workhouse master,
Who swore by all the gods
That he'd stop their Christmas pudden,
The dirty rotten sods.

Then up spake one brave warrior,
His face as bold as brass:
"You can take your Christmas pudden,
And cram it up your ass!"


:cheers:
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Old November 16th, 2005 #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HoaxThis
The nigger-lover understands perfectly well that this particular carol is spoken, not sung.
No, I don't understand that's why I asked you to translate it into English remember? Are you not able to do it? Is that what all the fuss is about? Gee Hoax, all you have to do is say you can't do it after all I do understand that you are a retarded monkey.

Quote:
Originally Posted by HoaxThis
It's just that he's painted himself into a corner and doesn't know how to get out. He stubbornly refuses to cede the point and with each post he puts up, he just digs himself in deeper.

Any normal White man would have dropped the subject after being made a fool of, out of embarrassment alone. Not our most reverend Pastor Troy though. He has no pride in either himself or his race(it's "neither.....nor") -- he is afterall, married to a nigger. Apparently he surrendered whatever dignity he did possess long ago for a piece of black ass. I hope he chokes on it.
Sure my delusional little friend. If you had me in a corner your "friends" would not feel the need to come and support you.
 
Old November 16th, 2005 #20
PastorTroy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sieg_Heil
You're the only one who didn't understand it.
You mean I am the only one in this zoo.....I mean forum who didn't understand that gibberish Hoax posted? I am sure if you post that same gibberish on a normal people's forum a lot of responses would be similar to mine.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sieg_Heil
I had no trouble at all. See, you have to have a fundamental grasp of English, a good imagination, and a sense of humour.
So let me get this straight Sieg, I need to know English in order to understand something written in a language other than English?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sieg_Heil
Don't know about the first two, but you sure as hell lack the third.
Hey, my sense of humour is just fine...as long as the humour is in a language that I can understand.
 
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